The man in a dark alley: short story

I am an unsocial man and I can't say that I got so much fun in my life. Besides I am so unsignificant guy, also my appearance is not very distinctive. You know, you just give a glance to a person in the street because he was passing front of you and you don't think about him again. It is me ! But don't think that I am an ugly guy. No not at all. Even some girls used to tell me that I am good looking. Yet, I usually get blushed right in that moment and create an excuse to escape there and go to my home.

However, even a guy like me, got a story to tell. You may not believe any word. It is your kind choice. But I am going to tell it anyway.

In an ordinary autumn night, I was walking in a dark alley. The wind was blowing and drifting the dry leaves around. There was nothing except a weak street light. The weather was freezing with that cold wind. Not long after, I noticed a guy walking in front of me. As I noticed from far, the guy wore an hat and a long topcoat like in detective films. He was walking slow and I was approaching him in every second.

I was lying when I say, there is not so much fun in my life. I sometimes enjoy to make people nervous just by walking next to them or behind of them with a same speed. I don't look at them but I always know that they get easily uncomfortable with my acts. For me it is so funny !!!

Then after a while, I arrived just two meters away from the guy. I arranged my walking speed same with him. After walking 10-15 meters like this the guy with the hat noticed me. He became preoccupied for every second of walking. I did reach my point. Then he slowed down to let me pass. However, I slowed down as well. The tension for him was increasing like the sound of accelerating wind. The autumn leaves was drifting around even more caoticly in that dark alley. And I was still 2 meters behind of him. After a while he started to walk faster but I kept the distance. He couldn't dare to look behind and also run away.

Then he just crouch and pretend like tying his shoelaces to understand that I was seriously stalking him. But I just threw my lighter to the ground and got down to take it. I was just next to him. Then he looked at me with an evil expression in his face and said " hello there dear friend !!. I suddenly got shocked and couln't move a finger. The guy just salute me, was me !!!. I was looking to my own face !

He tied his shoelaces slowly and spoke again " you would have never guess that right ? asshole ! " and walked away and left me there shivering like the last standing autumn leaves. Then he perished in the end of the dark alley.

for the respect to Dvoynik - Dostoyevsky and O Homem Dublicado - Jose Saramago

Umea 2014, Septembre


                                                 

Una pura formalità - Possibilities offered by the fantastic and the surreal

" Even now, I sometimes doubt I ever lived those days, ever made fast that friendship, ever knew this man whose body has just fallen before my eyes. This body gasped for breath, and I wrote this pages. Those vacant eyes cried out for expression, those lips pleaded for a final whimper, this dream was missing a kind of dreamer ... "

" So as not to die of anguish or of shame, men are eternaly condemned to forget the unpleasent moments of their lifes. And the more unpleasent they are, the faster they are forgotten. "

                                                       Onoff - Una Pura Formalità (1994)
                                                               Giuseppe Tornatore

Delilik Tarihine Dair

"Kafka’nın değişim eserinde hayvanlaşan hayat anlayışımızı kaç kişi anlayabildi ki, intihar etmek için çabalarını kaçımız düşündü ki, yoksa hasta bir kişiliği mi okuyoruz?

Kaç kişi sanat adı altında mozart’ın sarayda kızların peşinde koşarken krala yakalanmasını biliyor ki? Kız çığlıklar içinde kaçarken mozart onun peşinde koşuyordu. Üstü başı dağınık, kendinden geçmiş bir halde kralı karşısında görünce susmak yerine krala şunu demişti: “ben bayağı biriyim ama yazdıklarım bayağı değildir.”

Zweig’in, tanrı’nın bileklerinden tuttum derken, “kaderime ben hakimim” demek istediğini. Hugo’nun kadın düşkünü olduğunu, Dostoyevski’nin kumar tutkunluğunu, Balzac’ın dolandırıcılığını, Poe’nin ayyaş olana kadar içtiğini, “sen sarhoş mu yazıyorsun?” dedikleri zaman, kaç kişi yüzünde beliren sanat anlayışı ile yaşamının arasındaki uçuruma kendini koydu?

Tarih deliliklerle dolu, kaç kişi bu deliliklerin arasında yolculuk yapmak ister?

“Gecenin mahremiyetini yırttım” derken Rimbaud’u kaçımız anladı, Verlain korkularının kendini uyutmadığını, Nietzsche otel odasında kusmukları içinde ölürken yanında hiç kimsenin olmamasını, Miller’in karısını sattığını bile bilmiyoruz belki de…

Gorki gibi yazabilmek için on yılımı harcarım diyebilecek kaç deli var aramızda, Descartes’in alın kuralları eserini yazdıktan sonra tebessüm içinde övünerek kahvesini yudumladığını, kendi romanında kurguladığı kişiliğe herkesten önce kendisinin inandığı Gogol gibi, kaç kişi var kurgusuna güvenen?

Tarih deliliklerle dolu…

Cipolla’nın iktisat tarihine meydan okuduğunu bile unutmuşuzdur.

Ibni sina’nın “tıbbı üç kelime içine alıyorum” dediğinde kibirli halini , Batuta her gördüğü yüze inancını sorduğunu, Farabi mutluluk teorisini kalem alırken mutsuz olduğunu kaçımız düşündü ki?

Düşüncelerin sakıncalı olabileceğini bile kralların savaşları kaybettiklerinde anladıklarını, kardeş kavgalarının gölgesinde suskunlukları, saray odalarında musiki yerine Fransız müziğinin seslendirildiğini, kaç kişi gerçeklerin bizim düşündüğümüz gibi olmadığını biliyor ki?

Tarih deliliklerle dolu….

Sanat anlayışını hayatları ile kıyasladığınızda kaç sanatkar, kaç yazar, kaç şair, aklımızda hayal etmiş olduğumuz şekilde yaşadı ki?

Sanat delilik ister demiyorum, ama sanatkar deli olabilir…

Insanları yazdıkları ile anlamalıyız, yaşantıları ile anlamaya çalışırsak sanatlarının güzelliğine haksızlık ederiz…"

Semra Yıldırım

Power Rangers vs Reservoir Dogs (based on true story)

We were 5 children who wanted to play Power Rangers in the street. I already made wooden swords, spear, bow and axe. I picked to be blue ranger. He was the scientific one and wore glasses as well. It was my right by law to be him. I made my brother red ranger and other guy black ranger. We were 5 boys and the things got tricky in the case of picking yellow and pink rangers. I somehow convinced 4th guy to be yellow ranger. I don't know, maybe he didn't watch the show or yellow was not so feminine colour. Then the last guy had to be pink ranger. He didn't accept. Whole game started to became a Reservoir Dog scene. I tried to convince him showing how cool the bow is. How cool her fighting style.  He said " then why don't you become pink ranger ? " I said " but I got glasses " Yellow ranger said that he doen't want to be yellow ranger anymore as well. I told them "allright you can be rotative yellow and pink ranger ". Pink ranger said " fuck you I don't want to play this fucking game " and he left. I couln't understand for a while. I was 7 years old. Everybody left. I still couln't understand. I tought for a moment. Then it hit to my mind ! How society give significance to the colours ! what sexuality is ! All images turned into my brain. I resisted. I tried to play as blue ranger by myself. I couln't concentrate. I went back home and watched the new episode of Power Rangers. I realized then how cute was Pink ranger is. yellow was not beautiful much. It seemed that I lost my childhood innocence after that moment.
Yeah pink ranger was beautiful...

                                                                                           Umea, 2014

Say Good Night To The Bad Guy

Tony Montana: What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!

                                                      

                                           Scarface (1983) / Brian de Palma

                                                                                   

The Adam Experiment: Part 3 - Noah's Orphanage

(Detective gladly felt that he took the advantage of interrogation again. The only thing has to be done now is that make him doubt of his scientific base and to debilitate the scientific rationalization and to force him to waken his conscious through social ethics. Then he could reach genuinely into the character of this great scientist. Undoubtly if the man still feels just with his actions, there is no point of loyal punishment. The real punishment is to face the crime that he did. At that very time, George Orwell’s novel; 1984 came to his mind. In this novel, just admiting the crime was not enough. They have to admit their crime against Big Brother and therewith they have to love him from the heart. He didn’t understand why he tought about this. Perhaps, He was the one who changed his toughts instead changing Dr. Inan’s. He just stopped to think it. )

Dinçer Inan went crazy after detective’s words. Awhile he tried to be calm nevertheles he couldn’t restrain himself:

-          Have you ever read one of my articles ? you fucking dick ! Have you ever seen my countribution to cancer, brain concussion and lesion therapies. These are the conclusion of 20 years god damn hardwork !! How can you say that to me, you motherfucking son of a bitch !!!!

Inan standed up with anger. Detective didn’t expect that kind of reaction from Inan. But he kept calm. Two zebella like men broke into the room. Detective didn’t even look at the zebellas :

-          Get out. Everthing is under the control” he said. He lighted his cigaretta and said: “ please remain calm Dr. Inan” Dr. Inan set back and responded:” If you talk in this way again, the conversation will be over. I won’t tell you a shit !!! “  

-          I just wanted to be sure that you will not claim a madness defence, said detective. Inan wait little bit to be calm again.

-          May I have a cigarette please ?

Detective took out a cigaretta from the pocket and presented it to Inan, barely standed up and lighted his cigaretta. In short time, interrogation room turned into gloomy by the smoking fume. Dr. Inan started to talk:

-          The ratio of the genders was calculated through the theory of Minimum Viable Population. Contrary to other scientists, I estimate the experiment would have further stages; ”an experiment that lasts for life“. In that case, they had doubt the experiment would be out of control, nevertheles they accepted the theory. However I minimized the number of children as 23 by the  insistence of my colleagues. Thus we guaranteed the survival of the children by the natural reason.

-          So, you estimated detaily the participition of the children to outside-world. However I have to claim that there was nobody around when Noah got out of the ark.

-          From that point, we had to focus scientific part of the experiment rather that philosopic part. We can not ignore out-side world. Therefore, I and my team thougt this would be an amazing opportunity to understand and compare super-ego concept. It would be a great chance to see the difference between the real nature of human-being with spoiled one.

      Inan took a last breath from his cigaretta and pulled it out in ashtray that detective passed to him. For a while they waited silently the next move from opponent. Inan seemed to disproove the point view of the detective which Inan has no scientific base for this experiment. Detective decided to go back the beginning.

-          Doctor, I am not convinced that you are telling everything . For seeing whole picture with details, I have to ask you to explain us everthing from the beginning with every single detail. First of all, how did you collect the children ? Was  there any special parameter, the children had to contain ?

-          No, detective. After all, the whole aim of the project was to observe what kind of norm and regulation, a normal human population can create without any outsider effect. We didn’t look for anything exept the children are healty or not.

-          But How did you collect the children ? Adopting 23 children at the same time from certain orphinage doesn’t seem so legal to me.

-          We did have some connections who know some people in the administration of the orphanages. They dealed with that part of work. They made sure that any of children didn’t have any emotional attachment with any of adults and they convinced the administration of orphanages for adopting the children.

-          Which orphanages ?

-          If you think, I will give you any information about the orphanages and my connection, you can lick my balls, Detective. I particulary indicated that I don’t want to be interrogated in this way.   

-          At least you can tell any of orphanage administrators or your connections were aware of your experiment or not.

-          The orphenage administrators doesn’t know anything about experiment. Beside I don’t even think they cared about these children.

-          What about your connection ?

-          We had to tell them. Most of them respected the aim of the experiment. Plus, you don’t have to bother looking the money transfer. They didn’t ask any money for the job. I wish you luck to reach them. May I have a cup of coffee, Detective ?

Detective didn’t replied. They didn’t talk until coffee arrived. Detective faced an huge wall which was constructed with a great care by Inan. He needed to plan his strategy very carefully. 

part 1: The Adam Experiment: The Garden of Eden
part 2: The Adam Experiment: Raul

Rıdvan'ı bitirecektim

    

     "Penaltıdan sonra gözüm döndü, hırsım geçmemişti. Beşinci gol öncesinde baktım Rıdvan bana doğru geliyordu. O anda her şeyi unutup Rıdvan’ın üzerine gittim. Allah ne verdiyse ayaklarına dalacaktım, bitirecektim onu. Ama baktım Tanju’ya pas verdi, yoksa beni kimse tutamazdı.
Normalde kırmızı kart görmem gerekiyordu, hakem herhalde benden korktu. Pozisyon televizyonda penaltı gibi görünüyor ama inanın değildi. Hakemin işaretini görünce tepem attı. Hemen gidip rıdvan’ı ittim. Sonra Oğuz küfür ederek üstüme geldi, kendimi iyice kaybettim. Tanju engellemeseydi orada çok şey olurdu.
Rıdvan transferde aldığı 2 milyarı bana borçlu. İzmir’deki İngiltere maçında güzel oynamıştı ama ben o kurtarışları yapmasam farklı yenilirdik. O zaman da Rıdvan’ın iyi oyununu kimse görmezdi
Fındık kadar adam maç bitinceye kadar bana “ dışarıda görüşürüz” diye bağırıp durdu. Ona iki parmağım yeter. O benim için artık bitti, yüzüne bakmam. Tekrar söylüyorum, yaptıklarımdan pişmanlık duymuyorum.”

                                                                      Hayrettin Demirbaş, 

                                                                         22 Nisan 1992