I arrived in Umea one years ago. I should admit that I really enjoy this city
expecially in the weekends. In factbeing a student in this town makes it even
more amusing. Like many students, I am living in Alidhem. The party center of
the student life in Umea. I always admire the party spirit of the student here
. You can live in Earth only once right ?. You must enjoy in every second of
it. Please guys ! come on ! Don’t worry about anything !
I watched many parties and watched the people’s behaviour there.
It is always fun to see how they transform after they drink so much. But I have
never been in one actually. I always thought that if I would join one of those
party, I would have fun and make the people have fun for sure.
But so sorry. I haven’t introduced myself to you. Let’s do it like
international student here. I think it is perfect way to know somebody. First
you gotta say your name and your country and of course what you study.
Part 1: NORMALITY
My name is K and I am coming from S. I study phychology. Yes
! that’s why I observe people’s behaviour everytime. Right now, I doing it
actually. But it is your right to ask how come I can observe them totally even
though I have never been in those parties. I got a really strong
binocular. I sit in front of my window and watch them. Now I am watching a guy
with an hat wearing a green coat. He is going to the pre-party in pedagogrand
7A. He just saw his friends in the door outside smoking. When his friends saw
him, they shouted “ oooooooooooo ” and welcome him really sincerely. He asked a
cigaretta from his friends like always.
I even know the guy’s name. It is Dinçer and he comes from Turkey
and studies Molecular Biology. Now you know him very well right ? He took
the cigarette from Federico, the Italian guy with curly hair. Federico
complained like always he does and said that he is still counting how much
cigarette he took from him. He wants them back. They laughed. However Federico
seemed serious and angry. Then Dinçer complained about that he doesn't got any
alchohol with him. Alp "the german turkish guy" offered his beer
right away. Max " the german guy" lighted his cigarette. But the beer
was not enough for him of course. He asked the bottle with votka from Karlijn
" the dutch girl". He knew that she always got one.
Of course, you may ask that how I know their name. Actually
I met Dinçer once ! He is really cool guy. But the funniest part, he was
completely drunk when I met him. He was going back to his home after a corridor
party. He asked me a cigarette and I gave him. I don't smoke but I always carry
parlament brand cigarette with me. He said he never smoked parlament before and
praised the cigarette. He wasn't in himself definitely. And he talked about
many things while we spoke. But I was little upset because he didn't even asked
me where I am from or what I study. He talked a lot about his friends
too.
Now I need to get out from my home, because from that angle I can
not see the kitchen of Max. Please wait for a while for me:)
Part2: TRANSFORMATION LEVEL 1
Now, I see them clearly. They are dancing and there are plenty of
people there as well. 3 guys shouted their transformation code while drinking
votka shots. Dinçer just pretended to shout. He seems upset and little
preoccupied. For sure that building has special meaning for him. However as a
phycologist, I definetely notice that the guy got some other vital concerns. A
little later, he approached to the window and started to look outside, while
speaking with Karljin.
I may even say that he stared at me !
He returned to the kitchen take a little zip from votka and
started to tell a sexist joke like always. They laughed except some girls that
I don't know. The joke was nasty, I can tell since I got a perfect ability to
read lips. I can understand even tough I don't hear it. The girls looked at him
with disgusted expression. Dinçer noticed it and try to change the subject to
philosopy but he fucked it up as well.
A while after he was paddling the boat on the floor with Alp, Fede
and Max. They screamed " Aisa ! Aisa !! Aisa !!!! " 3 of them and including Karljin seemed about to reach transformation.
But Dinçer.. he was a god damn good actor.
Part3: TRANSFORMATION LEVEL 2
5 of them got out from the kitchen while singing and I left my
place. Now I see them smoking outside of Pedagogrand 7A again. There wasn't
much votka left. Federico was complaining about to have completely clear mind
after a whole bottle of votka. Dinçer said " of course you can say you got completely clear mind, let's see this guy in the end of the night. Probably if he drinks more, he will end up in a garbage can. " Alp interfered " You mean end up in your couch at your home like the last time". Everybody loughed. For the first time in his life, Dinçer shaked the joker's hand and congragulate him. The vision of his home appeared in his mind. Flies, spiders and a plant which never grows. However it seems like there was definitely something wrong with Dinçer tonight. Then Alp continued searching for next party and Max was
inviting people and Karljin was finishing the last drop of votka before Fede
could realize.
Other girls from Max's kitchen left for Karhuset and said good bye
to them. Alp said he doesn't care, they won't give man ! Fede seemed totally
agreed with that. Dinçer was loughing to the sentences. The phrase was directly
translated from Turkish.
The next party is only one block away: Pedagogrand 7B
Alp, Fede and Dinçer went to pedagogrand 7B, Max and Karljin went
for collecting people for the party. Alp entered the kitchen in second
floor like a pioneer and even like a predator. Then he got out. Dinçer looked
at his face and said lets get out for a cigarette. The party was dead and Alp
was saying that none of them won't give again. Fede just gave one glance seen
to inside and kept insisting to wait Max, Karljin and their companies while
having cigarette
Max, Karljin and their companies arrived the place while they are outside. Fede didn't seem happy with companies. In that moment A chinese girl with an hot blonde came outside without any winter coat. Xingru "the chinese girl" saw Dinçer and asked like always with an disgusted face " What are you doing here ?" Dinçer replied like always " you are here that's why " Xingru is one of oldest friend of Dinçer in Umea. They hugged eachother. In that moment Fede's bored face expression has changed. He was totally alert. Fede directly approached to Dinçer while he was speaking with Xingru and hot blonde. He waited for a while expecting Dinçer would introduce him to this two girls. Then after 30 seconds, Fede's patience run out of. He sweared first to Dinçer in Italian and asked to Chinese girl where she is from. She responded that she is Italian and said the only word that she knows. " Cazzo " They stayed outside for 15 minutes. In that whole time she was telling to Dinçer how much hot Max is.
After a while, Xingru, Fede, Dinçer and Max was in the dance spot in the kitchen. Fede grabbed already Xingru for an intimate dance. Max and Dinçer wasn't dancing. Max approached to Dinçer and showed Fede and said" look at the Italian style. and showed Xingru as well and said " She is true transformer, I wish to be like that so badly " Dinçer used to be in the same lab. with Xingru for 6 months. He definitely agreed with Max's point of view. However Dinçer was nervous and preoccupied even more than before. He tried to escape from dance spot to have a cigarette. But all the time Xingru caught him and never let him go. After 3rd try, Dinçer said " fuck this !" and approached to Xingru and started to dance with her. But Fede was like a definete predator and pushed him and kept the hunt for himself. The fire was erupting from his eyes !.
After his 4th try, he managed to escape from the dance spot. Alp was talking with the blonde girl " Xingru's friend " just by the dance spot. Dinçer took the bottle of wisky from the bench. Actually he had noticed it in first glance when he entered the place. He said to Alp " When something is on the table, it is a public property " and gave the bottle to Alp and yell " drink, drink, drink " Then Max came. Dinçer took back the bottle of wisky from Alp and gave it to Max. Max didn't even need an order to drink it.
After police arrived to the party, everybody is on their way to the next party in Historigrand 12C. Karljin showed up from somewhere and joined this 3 guys. of course I am on my way to ICA alidhem right now. I gotta be quick.
Karljin and Dinçer was walking side by side and speaking. She told him there are run out of votka. They need to take it from her room. While they were walking there was a Swedish girl, walking to somewhere, playing a sad song with a flute. Dinçer looked at the girl and said " come on play something cheerful, It is Saturday ! " The cute Swedish girl started to play a cheerful song. Karljin invited the girl and her companies to the party. I couldn't believe to my ears. But They didn't seem so much interested. But probably you won't believe it. I was one of the people of the flute girl. At least I seemed like it.
I jumped in Karljin's offer of course. It would be my first and only chance to be inside of a party. It is gonna be awesome. While we walked to Karjlin's room, I asked them where they are from and what they study. It was so much fun. But the most funny part was Dinçer couldn't recognize my face. However they never asked me back where I am from and what I study.
Part3: TRANSFORMATION LEVEL 3
Now, we are inside of Karljin's room. I should be thankful to Karljin. Because there was no way to watch these guys from outside. The shutters is completely closed. Maybe it was effect of the alchohol. Karljin and Dinçer were talking about philosopical things. They were talking about normality and common standards of society. How the society define the normality, maneuver this normality to the people and alienete people who doesn't obey to defined normality. Was that normality the real human nature ? The reality ? Dinçer turned to me and asked that why I don't speak much and whether I am not interested on those staff.
But first I need to tell you my real major. I studied criminal pychology. I worked for the police as cunsultant. I have seen many extreemly messed up thing . I helped them to solve many cases. I know all about the real nature of human being. What they have in the core of their identity. How much violent they can be. Of course, I didn't speak much ! I don't want to scare them. I wanted to keep them as naive as they are now. They will learn eventually. But Dinçer is really interesting case for me.
I should say again. I am really thankful to Karljin to be in this room and to be witness all this conversation. Fede and Max stepped in the room. They were worried about Karljin. The conversation continued. I was so silent. I needed to speak. I asked them why they are interested in that kind of subject. All those guys where studying Biology. Dinçer said" we have to analysis our life in every aspect. Biology is only one of them. Karljin intervene she said " if we studied social science we wouldn't know about the biological nature of us, and if we studied the social science academia would limit as well our perpective. Votka and wine were consumed like water in that room. But Dinçer was only pretending to drink. Here you go boy !
After 5 minutes, when smoking outside of the party corridor, Max, Fede and Dinçer were talking about their dick size like every drunk men do. While Max was speaking about his penis size, Dinçer interfered " damn man stop it. We need to use a fucking magnifier to see your dick." Fede loughed his ass off. Max turned to Fede and said " why do you lough man ! In order to see your dick, we need to use two photon confocal microscopy with 100X objective. But it would not be enough, So first we need to stain it with a powerful florecent dye and even the only thing that we could have seen, would be just 2 cells there ! I never seen Dinçer loughed so much in this night. After a while, they shout their transformation code again. Fede screamed " Attachiiiiiing " and entered to corridor and started to speak with the first hot girl that he see. He was good at it.
After Fede left, Alp and Karljin came to the outside for smoking. All of them started to smoke again with company of Votka. And some cute messed up staff happened there. Definetely ,The transformation level 3 was about appearing.
Not long after, Dinçer and Alp were in the dance pist. Dinçer was searching for alchohol around. They saw Nuno with Spanish girls. Alp, Nuno and Dinçer hugged eachother and started to shout " Milf !! Milf !! Milf !! Milf !! " Nuno was fucking drunk like many times. I don't know why they scream like that and I don't wanna know. Then Dinçer saw the brazilian guy and the hot Swedish teen with dental brace. They hugged eachother. While Dinçer was speaking with the teen, the only thing that he could think off, was how much his lips and his tonque would be raptured. Dinçer just wanted to tease the girl and asked, " Hey, I need to know are you legal......." in that time the music was changing and there was a short silence between the songs. Everybody looked at him. But the problem, the guy was about to continue he hesitate little and said " .........or not to drink alchohol, you seem like a fucking 16 years old " But the party music already started. Nobody could hear this sentences. " Because, I am gonna find alchohol around " Hot teen replied " I am 18 ! But no thanks, I drunk enough, I think. " after the brazilian guy heard her there was an evil smile in his face.
Dinçer found the alchohol on the beer pong table. It was in water bottle. And he just came up with the hot Greek girl and said " I just found this but I am not sure if it is alchohol or not. It is in a water bottle " Actually he already tried and he was damn sure that it is alchohol. He just passed it to the girl. The girl drunk it and said " it is definetely alchohol " She did got a cute smile. Dinçer took the bottle and pretend drinking again and passed to the girl. It continued for a while with lots of loughes. But Dinçer was preoccupied and he got some job to do. He left the girl there and proceed in the corridor. He saw 2 meters high Czech guy Chirstian, Portugese guy Gabriel, Hairy Brazilian guy which Dinçer calls him " Batman " and joined to soussage party for a while. Guys where beating the guys were passing through them and yelled " No homos !!! no homos !!!. Dinçer enjoyed it very much. However these guys took Dinçer between them and beat them to yell again. He left them and proceed in the corridor.
Max and Fede were there talking with the girls of course. Dinçer gave the bottle to Max and asked which kind of alchohol this is. Max drunk it and said immediately " some fucked up gin " he drunk more. Alp was speaking with a girl but saw them and came. He already got fucked face. Complete transformation level 3. Dinçer passed the bottle to him. He drunk it and said " cool " and the bottle passed to Fede of course. Karljin came and the bottle passed her. They went out for cigarette.
Fede met a friend and kissed her directly from her lips ! Meanwhile Dinçer just started a spontenous conversation with a blonde girl. They talked a lot. The bottle of gin was about to finish already. It was cold and they entered inside together. Dinçer and Karljin entered to toilet with the bottle of gin. When they got out a german guy's mouth stayed opened for a while. Karljin went to right Dinçer went to left and saw Max while he was making out with the blonde girl who Dinçer just spoke. Fede came and Dinçer showed them. Fede was just speaking vovels. Just behind of them Karljin was speaking with a girl in an intimate way. Dinçer was searching for Alp. Dinçer went outside with Fede and Max and noticed Alp talking with a girl. He got her phone number.
Part4: DESTRUCTION
Now, they are smoking outside. A suprising staff happened for Alp, Fede and Max. Dinçer just took out a full packet of parlament cigarette and offered to them. He started to speak " Alp forgot about that girl, guys ! listen to me. I know an incredible after party around fysikgrand ! Definitely incredible " Fede was alert again said " come on really ? " Dinçer continued " the party of dentist students !!!! you don't know how much hot they are !!! sometimes they were eating in the kitchen of Molecular Biology department while we were studying to our exam. No way to concentrate anymore !!! " Max said " you are bullshiting man !!! then lets go there come on !!! and they screamed " attackiiiiiiiiinggggg " Alp was already fucked up. He was just screaming. Dinçer said but wait just first finish you cigarettes. Everybody finished his cigarette. Dinçer did got rolled one. It took more time to finish it. He just throw it away in its half and turned his face away from the guy. I saw him. At that moment, He was a grimmed faced man, cruel. The old Dinçer will not be there anymore. He has gone forever.
People transforms in their life. Not with an alchohol. Through their lifespan. They got born with a pure character. Their families transform them first and then their friends after their every experience and society force its rules to our souls. Dinçer was an interesting case. Because he was in the verge of the ultimate transformation. In all road, they were making jokes, having fun.
Now they are in the door of the party building. Dinçer told them the party is in the basement. He said " lets smoke first and he gave one other parlament cigarette which I gave to him today. I am inside of the building, I hear every word that they speak. Max was talking about pre-blowers in the porn films.
They entered inside walked down the stairs. There is a music inside. They entered inside except Dinçer. I triggered the trap. 3 of them just dropped to the hole ! Dinçer looked at me. I was wearing a mask like always in this basement. and he said to me:
- I did what you want, now let me go !
- Sure, fly my little friend, fly fly fly .....
and I throw cold water to these guys, screamed. " wake up my dear fellows !!! " I turned to Dinçer and said " see you around " he replied " I don't fucking think so ! " He got out while his friends was shivering in the hole.
I whispered " see you my little friend "
I know excatly where he goes. The real after party that he was talking about the guys. I went there and hide in the shades. He went out with stunning two girls in his arms. I really wonder if he transformed completely. Since mostly he just walk with them to their home. Then he won't remember nothing. He was drunk now. He french kissed two dentist girls. He did got their numbers. He went to the corner to pee. It is shame not to see his complete transformation. I approached him from behind and hit his head with a stick.
After 5 minutes. 4 of them was in the hole, totally wet. Max yelled " what are you going to do with us ????!!! " Fede just spoke with vovels again , nobody fucking understood him. Alp did got fucked face. And Dinçer screamed
" please not again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
I looked at them and pull down the basket slowly. and said
" put the fucking lotion on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "
November 2014, Umea
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